Albus's Halloween Party
by KrazyKimmy
Summary: Indiana Jones, Catwoman, Shrek and the Phantom of the Opera? Must be Albus's doing! Once more the barmy old man makes the Hogwarts staff dress up...to their enjoyment :D Vaguely humerous, Happy Halloween, and whatever else I've missed.Oh yh, Snape sings
1. Chapter 1

**Albus's Halloween Party.**

That much awaited loopy drabble by Kimmy. XD Enjoy.

It was the thirty-first of October, a Monday, and thus very unusual for anyone to skip dinner. It was no secret that Fridays and Mondays held the best dinners by the house elves.

But even after Dumbledore's ten minute rant about dung-bombs in classes, yes, even on Halloween, there was still no sign of Professor Snape or Trelawney.

"Do you think it's McGonagall? She looks kinda shifty?" Grumbled Ron, who wanted nothing more than a chicken drumstick.

"I don't know.." Murmured Hermione, who kept anxiously turning around, watching the door and high-table. "I just hope Snape's OK... Not really fussed about Trelawney to be honest"

Harry snorted, "Yeah. Lets pray he hasn't broken too many bones; the greasy git."

Fred and George chuckled, then nudged each other, winking. They obviously were rooting for the two teachers to be found together somewhere by Filch.

"Ahem." Dumbledore once more stood up, clapping his hands once for silence, as the lights simultaneously dimmed throughout the room. He looked down at a few staff members along the table, then nodded, and sat down; pressing his finger tips together and watching the doors with twinkling eyes.

There was silence for a few moments, as the students expectantly watched the great doors, waiting for something to happen. Then when nothing did, whispers rumbled around the door, accompanied by the occasional 'can we eat yet?' 'whens dinner' and such.

Just when Ron was considering cannibalism on one of the first years, the doors did blow open, revealing a dark, cloaked, and masked figure standing in the doorway, a somewhat darkened and moonlight entrance hall behind him, glowing a faint blue.

The figure lifted his head, showing slicked back hair and half a white face mask, and as the students took this in, the lights rose around the mysterious figure, dimming to embers elsewhere.

Up on the high table, Minerva nudged Albus, "I want a whole pensive just of this!" She whispered, stifling giggles.

"Don't forget you're next, dear." Albus retorted, eyes twinkling.

The figure in the doorway raised his arms dramatically, and a soft sweet music started to play.

He took a few steps forward, and in a velvety voice started to sing:

"Night time, sharpens, heightens each sensation." As he sang, he moved forward ever so slowly, looking each student in the eye with an almost seductive aura.

"Darkness stirs, and wakes imagination. Silently the senses, abandon their defences." The mystical music of violins and other strings rose slightly in volume, and stars in their thousands lit up the ceiling as the mystery singer looked up, twirling, moving forward slightly.

"Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendour. Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender." He gently tickled Hermione under the chin as he passed, and as he turned away she whispered to Lavender Brown, next to her; "THATS SNAPE!"

"Turn your face away, from the garish light of day!" A hand was waved in a snatching motion at Albus up at the high table, who was looking very pleased with himself.

"Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light; and listen to, the music of the night."

almost silent whispers ran down the Gryffindor table, as the music rose once more and drowned out the barely audible Gryffindors, and not far behind the the Ravenclaws figured out the phantoms identity.

"Close your eyes, and surrender to your darkest dreams, purge all the life you knew before," The Phantom was now in the middle of the Great Hall, and his voice was no longer a singing whisper, but a loud, deep and sensual sound that filled the entire room. "close your eyes let start to sooaarr" He waved and arm as the note echoed around the hall. "And you'll live, as you've never lived before."

"Softly, deftly, music shall caress you, hear it, feel it, secretly posses you. Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind, in this darkness that you know you cannot fight, the darkness of the music of the niiigghhhttt." Snape once more span around, taking in the disbelieving faces as the entire hall now knew it was him. He'd kill Albus later. Not to worry.

"Let your mind start a journey to a strange new world, leave all thoughts of the life you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to beee!" Silence echoed through the hall, as Severus stood with his back to the high table, then he slowly turned around, and held out a hand to where the teachers were sat, and where someone stood, only a dim figure at the moment, "Only then, can **you** belong, to mee..." lights slowly were turned up, revealing (not only an empty high table but also) a woman, dressed in a dark green, skin tight, suit; with long black hair falling down her back in tumbled curls, a whip in one hand, and a black mask covering her eyes. Black cat ears were poking out from the top of her hair.

The Phantom moved towards her, two hands outstretched "Floating, falling, sweet intoxication,"

The woman, ("McGonagall!" Hermione whispered, poking Ron.) jumped down the from the table, landing before Severus.

"touch me, trust me," She turned away, for him to come behind her, stroking her hair, her face as he stood slightly to one side of her.

"savour each sensation. Let the dream begin" facing her he started backing away, arms outstretched to her.

"let your darker side give in, to the power of the music that I write, the power of the music of the niiiggghhhttt."

Loud music once more filled the ears of all of those in the Great hall, and spotlights revealed a masked couple, waltzing upon the high-table, before once more focussing on Severus.

"you alone can make my song take flight, help me make the music of the the niiiggghhhttt..." The phantom blended into the background, as darkness overtook the corners and edges of the Great Hall.

Cheers and whistles filled the Hall as the music faded into nothingness, but the CatWoman in the centre of the Hall was **not** having that.

She flicked her whip, a loud crack resulting, and smirked saucily as once more, from nowhere, music erupted into the hall. This time - 'Scandalous' by 'mis teeq'.

'Catwoman' ("Meoooww!") was strutting up and down the hall, punctuating it with back flips and cartwheels, then shocking everyone (even herself) she ran, down the Slytherin table, pulling up a male seventh year, dancing a little (pre-rehearsed) hip hop with him, peeking over opposite shoulders, pulling her through his legs, that kind of thing (the plates and cutlery had disappeared).

Barely three minutes into her performance, and 'CatWoman' smirked, in the centre of the hall, no longer on the tables, and ran, straight towards high-table. She leaped, straight over the table, kicking off of Albus's empty chair, and continued running up the wall. Before she got to the ceiling, however, she jumped, twirling in mid-air; disappearing before she reached the table.

Several students laughed a bit, then a loud 'THUMP' made many jump.

Noone quite knew what they were expecting anymore, and so, when the Hufflepuffs screamed from the right side of the Hall, and ran over to the Slytherins, noone quite knew what was going to happen.

A light shone on the fireplace. There sat, covered in soot, an old woman in a black dress, with an umbrella that had a bird as a handle, and a carpet bag slightly open. Full of- Doorknobs?

"A-duh-dja-dja-uhh.." She stuttered, sitting somewhat dazed in the fireplace.

"Oh, hello dear." She smiled, as a woman with long blondy-red walked up, and helped her in pulling her out of the fireplace.

Trelawney, dressed as 'Aunt Clara' could clearly see that Pomona was dressed as her, but made no comment, only silently resigning herself to kill Albus later.

"I see- I see" Pomona called, in her best Trelawney impression. "I see-" Large arm waves accompanied this, knocking dear old aunt Clara in the face, "I don't see." Pomona shook her head sadly, looking down.

"May, uh, maybe if you tried this:" The sweet, soft stuttering voice of Marion Lourne (Sybil had her to a 'T', suggested. She then shook the ash off herself, then comically using her umbrella as a wand, "Eye of newt and hair of veela, all invisible will now been seen to her!" She managed.

'Sybil' put her head to the side, "I see … an ogre!" She whispered huskily, pointing; her eyes seeming overly large, even though 'Clara' was wearing her usual glasses.

Indeed, in the doorway, stood, a true to life, 'Shrek'. He laughed at the non-muggles expressions, then walked down the Hall, 'Sybil' and Clara fading into the darkness of the Hall.

"Well now Chum, I think you need to wash more." Came the inevitable voice of 'uncle Arthur' [A/N- also from Bewitched].

Comically short against Hagrid, Filius walked along the vacant Hufflepuff table, keeping stride with 'Shrek'

"Oh Buzz off!" Shrek called out, "I don't want a friend, not as annoying as you."

"You need to find yourself a girl." A maniacal laugh followed this.

Shrek rolled his eyes, then stopped, and comically gasped, "Oh my! A laughing Unicorn?"

"That's Talking, thank you very much." Firenze walked forward, from behind the high-table, a unicorns horn on his head.

In his best 'donkey' [A/N I know he's a Unicorn, but really? How many pure-bloods would know what a donkey is?] impression, he began to speak 20 mph, causing Shrek to sink to his knees, hands over his funny little ears, and slowly fade away.

Rolanda Hooch briefly ran in, hair in its usual do', but with pale make-up and a dribble of blood running down from her lips. This 'zombie' ran up to a female who had appeared, sitting on the high-table, with a red cloak, "Ahhh! Zombie! What big teeth you have!"

The 'unicorn' proceeded to kick the Zombie, both of whom faded away.

"Well now, hello there." A ghost drifted through the stained glass window ("Binns!" Hermione eagerly said. "Yes Hermione, We know!" Harry and Ron chorused), "I'm Casper, the friendly ghost!" He said, happiness abundant in his monotone voice.

Red riding hood threw back her hood ("Look- Irma-" "We KNOW Hermione!") and bared her fangs.

"Uh oh. You aren't very friendly. Are you sure you don't want to play?"

Little dead riding hood jumped up, and it obvious by now she was also a Vampire.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Or uh... BITE HIM!" Gandalf ran through the doors at the end of the great hall, (the entrance hall now being a fiery red) staff pointing at the Vampire.

("Yes, we know, Dumbledore." Ron beat Hermes to it, "Pfft! As if. That's Remus!")

"Raahh!" He yelled, a giant blast of light hitting Little Dead Riding Hood, and making her fade.

"Well now, I smell adventure here!" A woman in a sheep-fur lined jacket stepped up, an aviators cap over her red curls.

"Took the words right out of my mouth, Earhart!" Said a 'man', walking up and slinging his arm around her, wearing a leather jacket and wide brimmed fedora himself.

"Quite so!" Amelia nodded, smiling. Amelia looked to the stars on the ceiling, "Jiminy Cricket! Mars is bright tonight, suggests Mischief is afoot!"

"Blimey! Getta loada that!" Indiana pointed to a warbling green.. thing that was slowly walking down behind the Slytherin table, scaring the Hufflepuffs back to their own tables. ("Alright Hermione, who is it?" Asked Ron. "Charity Burbage- Muggle studies... I think. It's kinda hard to tell with all the antennae."

"Actually, that isn't very realistic." said someone, standing in front of the high-table.

"What?" A warbled speech came from the shocked alien, who stopped it's zombie like walk to gawp at the stranger who was wearing a stripy top and jeans.

"Well, first off if you were an alien then chances are you wouldn't be able to breath in Earth's atmosphere, and second, it would be highly unlikely that you would be humanoid in shape. As in, one in several million chances that you would be humanoid. Neheheheh."

"Who **are** you?" The Alien sounded put off.

"Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I was born on-"

"Whatever."

The two burst into flames, then the Hall was put into Darkness. One brave Ravenclaw said rather loudly, "Filch isn't going to appear as Hello Kitty again is he? My eyes still hurt from the last time."

The Hall slowly came into candle glow again, expect the tables had been clothed in purple and orange drapes, and garish plates clashed violently. Atop the table, A man sat, quite comfortably in Dumbledore's chair. He had bright orange hair and eyebrows, pale face, and a hat Albus would be jealous of.

"Pass the Tea, fluffy?" He intoned, to the phoenix next to him that was wearing bunny ears. When it didn't comply, he simply walked along the table, (the spot light following him) and picked up a teapot, and carried it back to his seat. Upon placing it on the table, and seated back down in the Headmaster's chair, it *ping* turned into Poppy Pomfrey wearing a maid's uniform. Not at all scantily dressed, but she got some wolf-whistles all the same. "More tea?" She asked.

"How about lunch?" Asked the hatter with a smile, [A/N very Johnny Depp like] and then, after one final blackout, all the staff (in their respective costumes) were seated at the table, and dinner ("And pudding?" Exclaimed Ron) appeared on the four tables.

Much to everyone delight, dinner was, officially, started; although many expressed groans at there not being any more entertainment for the night. In response, The 'Mad Hatter' only grinned, and twinkled his blue eyes.

"Hey!" Yelled out Fred Weasley, startling Ron and causing him to choke on his fifth helping of food. "Where's-"

"Hello Kitty?" Finished George.

The Mad Hatter grinned like the Cheshire cat, and stood up, lifting off his hat in a bow. He then flung his hat towards the door, where out of it, popped not a rabbit- but a cat. With... a dress on. ("Mrs Norris?" "Wicked.")

Grudgingly, the cat lead her way down the Hall, her master (God forbid any other cat ever hear of this) flying along behind her. He was decked in a tutu, had on a white shirt, and (gasp shock horror) pink fairy wings that actually flew. In his hand he carried a bow, and on the other a single arrow with a love heart on the end.

"Happy Swish and Flickering** Halloween." 'Cupid' grumbled, not knowing why the cauldron he let Albus blackmail him into this.

* * *

><p>*This is actually true, 'Aunt Clara' the character, got her tendency for collecting doorknobs from the actress; who actually did collect them; and used her own collection in the 1960's-70's TV program. Being born in the 90's myself- I am majorly jealous of anyone who grew up in that Era, as Bewitched is no longer aired. :(<p>

** Wizard swears by Potter Puppet Pals FTW!

_Well, yeah. Not as funny as the first -Albus's Fun Run, or at least I don't think so. I kinda gave up near the end. What do you think? Please review! And Happy Halloween! xD_


	2. Characters

_Characters, just in case you missed it. :D_

_Halloween. _

_Snape = phantom of the Opera _

_Minerva = cat woman _

_Flich = cupid _

_Sybil = Aunt Clara, from Bewitched _

_Albus = mad hatter, Alice in Wonderland 2010 _

_Poppy= mrs potts. Ish._

_Hagrid= shrek _

_Filius =uncle arthur from Bewitched_

_Pomona =sybill :) _

_Remus= gandalf . He was originally going to be Jacob, from Twilight- but I couldn't make it fit._

_Rolanda =zombie _

_Cuthbert=Casper _

_Irma=little dead riding hood_

_Firenze= unicorn_

_Bathsheba=Indiana Jones _

_Kettleburn=(not in) (shes retired anyway)_

_charity= Alien_

_Aurora =Ameila Earheart _

_Septima = big bang theory person._

_As you can tell I ran out of ideas. But thanks to 'Yue Sai' for many of them!_


End file.
